Road To Insanity

i will leave my dream and walk to another path, till someday i can live it with dignity but now, my people, my brothers, my sister they are stuck in the dark so i wanna light their way i wanna make them stand on thier feet again i wanna wake thier freedom and when i say wake that’s because no one can give freedom it’s born with us we are born free, but thier self-esteem is too low they look down on thier self that they think it’s a given not inside every one of them i see the humiliation in them i see thier humanity fading but at the same time fighting and they are good people i swear they just been blinded by failure, i wanna show them that we can raise again that we deserve a life that others are no better than us, we can change and we can look up and go higher…

i see it in their faces desperation all of them it’s like they gave up hope a long time ago even before they were born, they think they are nothing this is how i was raised in my society that am small that am buried under the dirt even before i die in our streets there is no life, they killed it in our schools when they killed knowledge, we are in a race but instead of going forward we are going backward..
today when i said i was free that we are free at least in our mind even if we are killed even if we are hurt we are free we can be free because we are free they laughed at me and i felt sad because i’ve seen them getting murdered with every word and i felt what a shame, that if the youth, the future of our nation felt like this what future really we have it seemed so dark and i knew that it’s going to be hard for one candle to light that black, i know am not alone, i know there is others even them the blind deep down inside they want to breath even if one breath will take their lives, i will walk this path and i will try my hardest to change the world at least my world, at least our world that we can live the life of the living, that our kids one day won’t dream like we did of the day we actually die that they won’t feel like hell is better than this hell..


My Rules..


At some point in our life we need to set some rules for ourselves if we are becoming weak, if we wanna change, to protect our self, to become stronger or to seem strong, being a sensitive person is dangerous am telling you i know i just don’t like where i am at right now and if i go on like this i will get nowhere and keep on getting hurt so here are my rules to sanity:
1- Trust no one
2- Never say you are sick, in pain, sad, tired to anyone
3- Don’t get involved with others drama
4- Don’t show your excitement
5- Stay away from drama
6- Don’t let your feelings control you
8- Don’t show anger
9- Be playful
10- Focus on yourself and don’t lose sight of your goals
11- Your dreams comes first and what comes in your way get rid of it


respect, is that too much to ask for??

it doesn’t take your filthy money, nor you energy, nor your pride,just learn to respect others, you don’t need to be religious to respect someone, it’s not hard it takes no effort, just respect others it doesn’t matter what you are going through, what made you so out of morals, respect your parents, elder, your neighbors, your colleagues, respect for the sake of humanity, stop looking down on each others for stupid reasons, there is no excuse for this, it doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, you color, your religion, they all don’t matters nothing matters, it’s just that morals are dying, when i look around everyone are turning to monsters..


here goes that hope thing again even if that thing is impossible i will still have hope, yep even after it’s over, i still have hope, i just hope this thing would be any good for me someday, because know it’s only makes me depressed, is this some kind of mental issue because it’s serious for me, very dangerously serious..

Late Night thoughts..



am in this stage of my life that i became indifferent..
simply no longer care as i use to be or feel as i use to be it’s like the old me is dying, but i learned a lot  and i came up with this in the end:
no one really care about you, it’s rare if you have those type of people in your life, you are lucky, but we are all lucky because we all have that one person, because life is fair it’s bitter, but sometimes we enjoy that taste, that joy is my mother, really when i was going through a hard time i only found her, anyone else is bullshit, fake, lies, they won’t put up with you, if you are not useful for them they will throw you away
as much as i believe each and every one of us have a good person inside many are so ugly i am surrounded by ugly people, hypocrites, i watch, that’s what i do i read them, it amuse me how sick they are how sick i am, how sick human nature, we are all selfish
sincerity, only exist in fairytales, and those who love you for you or whatever it’s all lies every one wants something from you might be small it can be big but once they no longer need anything from you to cover the guilt they will blame you for things you never did, their mind will start working finding excuses to hide thier sickness, “they are annoying, boring, they changed” they are just excuses but pretty obvious for me, i am loyal, sincere i am nice, i care, i feel sorrow, guilt can stop me from sleeping sometimes, i can’t hide my feelings, i can’t act normal when something is bothering me, am weak, but i will no longer be, because am no longer all of those thing it will be hard to get rid of it but at least i will hide it, i no longer care no one matter anymore, but my mother she is a part of me and am a part of her, she is the only one i will care about from now on, and my kids someday, because that the only honest relationship in this world, but when it come to love and friendship like i said it’s rare and i can no longer risk it i already wasted a lot of time on meaningless things…
i won’t cut myself  out from people oh no, not anymore if they are sly i will be their worst nightmare i will toy with them as long as someone afford to play with me i will crush them, i no longer believe in friendship to be honest, it disgust me just hearing the word, i was drowning in the wrong dreams for a long time it was just me who was blind, but i can finally breath, i am free from all those delusions but i will always be learning, this messed up nature we have, i will do anything to survive, even if that means turning into a  monster, but i won’t just survive i will rule…

Happy Birthday ME <3

Birthdays, i see people saying they don’t believe in birthday, but is it really a matter of belief??
i think it’s not something that have to do with religion it’s just a form of appreciation for the existence of that human being, cakes and candles and parties are not what this day is about it’s just that we are empty people and we rarely express our love to each other so making a day for that would be nice for that person to feel warm at least at least one day a year to feel important and loved




i want to make movies, i want to make movies, i wanna create a world where people can forget the ugliness of this world a pure place, i wanna wake people those who are asleep and doing nothing to change to go forward, i wanna motivate people to go after their dreams, i wanna make people taste, the bitter the sweet , make them laugh make them cry, i wanna creat characters that will inspire people, i wanna creat stories that will keep on living after i die i don’t want this short life i was given to go in vain, i wanna visit every person, meet the person inside of them, touch thier hearts, move them, i want this super power i wanna creat stories, it my dream that i will die for…