Into the…

Sometimes i think to myself is this is really what i want, the life i wanna live, years from now will i truly be happy, or would i regret it and find myself caged..

i have to study hard this year to go to a good college, for a better future to make my parents happy and proud but is that really what i want, would i be happy living the life the society want for me to behave a certain way and think a certain way this society that thought me that it’s the right thing to be fake and to be ashamed of myself, ashamed of my body as a women ashamed of my thoughts ashamed to be born..

no one have ever told me that this life is an endless battle and that i have to fight to survive, fight myself first, fight people around me and everything, so i found myself confused trying to understand what can’t be understood, sometime i find myself watching others silently, their reactions, listening carefully to the words coming out of thier mouths, the emotions drawn on thier expression, they are fighting, they are struggling too but many of them gave up long ago and you can see that clearly on the sadness hidden behind thier smiles when you just watch from behind and not get involved you learn a lot because you are no longer linked in what they are going through, so you can see it just the way it is how much they want to be free but what is it to be free, i think freedom is the true happiness that we are searching for that some of us pay a lot of money to buy, but it’s something that we can’t buy, but something inside of each and every one of us but we are too blind to see it we search somewhere in other people in other places even in things but it was always hidden inside that one place that we are all afraid to go, afraid to face our demon admit the bad things we did, and i also believe that freedom fades away the moment we lose hope the moment we give up on it so we become caged just than we know that it was inside all along and we work as hard as w can to blind those around us, because when it comes to this all of us become selfish, because it’s bitter when you are caged inside your own body when others are out there free, we long for it, but it’s to late in that moment we are dead, we are monsters, because it’s a horrible feeling to be not able to move,breathe see endless darkness, just like if you are nailed deep deep down in the ocean and you can’t breath and thousands of rocks are killing every bit fo hope for you to go up to breath and see the sky, you have no choise but to be eaten alive while you are longing for a breath..

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